smoovie

Mommy made a smoothy for Daddy, since he had his wisdom teeth pulled and couldn't eat solids. Daddy shared his smoothy with Peanut...

Peanut: "Mmmm, this is really good!"

Mommy: "It's called a smoothy"

Peanut: "A smoovie? Look, I've got a smoovie mustache!"

brave little one

Peanut was going to sleep at night, she loves to stay up and read her books for hours on end. After long enough, daddy turned off the light in the hallway and told her to go to sleep...

Peanut: "LIGHT, LIGHT!"

Daddy: "No sweety, it's time to go to sleep, the light is off now"

Peanut: "Ok, you're right daddy. I'm ok. I'm brave, I'm brave"

Onion fly

At home we had a minor infestation of fruit flies...

Peanut: "Mommy, there's a bug!"

Mommy: "Yes, it's ok, it's a fruit fly, it likes the fruit, there's lots of them"

Later on that week we're at the grocery store in the vegetable section...

Peanut: "Mommy, there's bugs!"

Mommy: "Yup, they're fruit flies"

Peanut: "No mommy, they're on the onions, they're onion flies!"

So many flies

Daddy: "Man, it's unbelievable how many newspapers and flyers we get in the mail"

Peanut: "Ya, there's so many newspapers and flies!"

observations

At the park there was one white swing and one black swing...

Peanut: "Look, there's one white one and one black one.....That's interesting"

J-E-LL-O

Peanut helped mommy make Jello for daddy after he had his wisdom teeth taken out. Mommy added the boiling water and Peanut added the cold water and stirred it for mommy...

Peanut: "Is the Jello good?"

Daddy: "Yup"

Peanut: "Do you like my mix of the cold water? That's how I made Jello with mommy"

poor soggy daddy

Daddy had to get his wisdom teeth taken out. When we went to pick him up after his surgery....

Mommy: "Peanut, we're going to pick up daddy now, he had his teeth taken out at the dentist"

Peanut: "Why'd they take his teeth out?"

Mommy: "Because they were hurting him, so they had to take them out. But he had to have surgery so he's gonna be a little groggy"

On the way home after picking up daddy....

Peanut: "Daddy, I hope your teeth feel better soon, you need to rest so that your teeth can feel better. Mommy, remember you told me that daddy would be soggy"

Mommy: "I said he'd be groggy"

Peanut: "Oh, roggy."

Worker man and his machine

We were sitting in Tim Hortons having a sprinkle donut and a chocolate milk when a construction worker came in who was pretty dirty...

Peanut: "Mommy, that man's too dirty to eat food"

Mommy: "Don't worry about other people, sometimes daddy's dirty too when he comes home from work because they work outside all day"

Peanut: watching him leave and get into his car, which was a 2 door red brand new Honda Civic, "Mommy, he can't get into a car, he's a worker man, they're supposed to drive in machines not cars!"

importance of saying goodbye

In the car we were listening to a Feist song, the chorus was "Don't have to say goodbye"...

Peanut: "Mommy, the lady just said you don't have to say goodbye, why'd she say that? It's important to say goodbye!"

too busy

S: "You're such a great big sister and big helper for mommy, will you help me when I have a baby?"

Peanut: "No, I'm busy helping mommy with our baby, you'll have to get J to help you with your baby"

ew-lemon

Mommy bought a bag of assorted flavour suckers for Peanut. The first time she wanted one she chose a yellow one...

Peanut: "I don't think I want this one anymore, I don't really like yellow, it tastes like lemon and I don't like lemon."

Mommy: "Ok, then you don't have to finish it"

Peanut: "Tomorrow when I get one I'll take a red one or a purple one or a green one."

The next day she asked for a purple one. After eating it for a bit the paper stick became soggy and bent.

Daddy: "Ok sweety, take a few more tastes and then it's done because it's breaking and it's not safe"

Peanut: "I guess tomorrow I'll have a red one cause I kind of broke the purple one"

when you're older

Mommy and daddy were telling Peanut about how she was at our wedding in mommy's tummy. Daddy mentioned to mommy that we'll have to keep telling her the truth - even when she's 15 - that we were pregnant at our wedding...

Peanut: "Don't tell me everything, save some for when I'm older"

marrying day

We went for a walk after dinner on our anniversary with the 2 kids, and bumped into some friends along the way.

Peanut: "Are you coming over for some cake?"

Friends: "Did you have cake?"

Peanut: "Yes, to celebrate the marrying of mommy and daddy today"

whistle while you work...or don't

Daddy was whistling very loudly, something he does often, mommy asked him to stop after a few minutes...

Peanut: "Ya daddy, stop, I don't like your singing."

Daddy: "Man, you guys are so mean, you gang up on me."

Peanut: "Cause you do all those things, you leave your bowl on the couch (which he had done with his cereal bowl that morning and she wouldn't let him live it down) and sing really loud all the time and you don't listen."

2 daddys

As mommy was coming down the stairs, Peanut thought she was daddy and called mommy daddy...

Peanut: "Oops, I called you daddy, but that's not good cause you might turn into daddy and then there's be 2 daddys and no mommy!"

phone calls

talking into her play phone...

Peanut: "It's so wonderful to see you."

Girl power

Daddy was being silly and singing Spice Girls...

Daddy: "Tell me what you want what you really really want, tell me what you want..."

Peanut: From the other room in a bossy kind of annoyed tone, "Mommy, tell daddy what you really want!"

New favorite joke - what a ham

Peanut: "Why do ducks fly out in the winter?"

Mommy: "I don't know, why?"

Peanut: "Because they get their ham!"

make you laugh

While getting in trouble for not listening, she decided to try a new tactic...

Peanut: "Mommy, oh, sorry I mean Daddy, I'm just trying to make you laugh, that's why I said that, mommy, oh I mean daddy"

World traveller

This happens pretty much everytime we drive downtown...

Peanut: "Look, we're in China"

Mommy: "Have you ever been to China?"

Peanut: "Yes, when I was younger"

like people

Mommy: "You're my muffin"

Peanut: "Mommy, I'm not like food, I'm like people!"

morning breath

Peanut came into our bed one morning and daddy was tickling her. He said something close to her face....

Peanut: "Daddy (plugs her nose) your breath is HOT."

boys and bums

Our day care got a puppy. When meeting him for the first time he rolled onto his back while she was petting him, she realized he was a boy...

Peanut: "Look mommy, he has a bum just like Koda!"

prince mommy

Mommy is looking in the mirror getting ready in the morning...

Peanut: "Do I look great too mommy?"

Mommy: "You sure do"

Peanut: "Do I look like a princess?"

Mommy: "Yea you always do"

Peanut: "I look like a princess and you look like a prince"

Mommy: "I thought princes were boys?"

Peanut: "Yup, they are"

Mommy: "Well, thanks I guess"

Peanut: "You're welcome prince"

Poopy town

Mommy told Peanut all about "poopy town" which is where the poop goes when you flush the toilet. The idea was that it would help her to poop on the potty because she needs to help the poop get home to poopy town where it's mommy and daddy poop live so that it can be with its family. She really liked the idea, and we discussed how we can't visit poopy town cause it's dirty and it's only for poops...

Peanut: "Why are you holding me?"

Daddy: "So you don't fall into the toilet"

Peanut: "If I fall in will I go down to poopy town?"

Daddy: "Yup!"

Peanut: "And then I'll turn into poop? forever?"

big sister duties

Peanut: "I'm a big sister, I have a baby brother!"

Library clerk: "Oh, so you're going to help out mommy with your new brother?"

Peanut: "Yup, I help with his bath, and to change him, I pass mommy his diapers, but I don't change his poopy diapers, that's mommy's job!"

you know what you don't say?

Peanut: "You know what you don't say? You don't say 'oh my God'. You don't say that"

Mommy: "I know, so you shouldn't say it now"

Peanut: "You can only say 'oh my God' when you're praying, you can't say 'oh my God' any other time."

Mommy: "I know, and you just said it 3 times and you're not praying"

Peanut: smiles mischeviously, I swear she knows exactly what she's doing.

S-H-I- Oops

Peanut: "Shit!"

Mommy: "What did you just say?"

Peanut: "Shit"

Mommy: "That's a bad word, you don't say that. Where did you hear that?"

Peanut: makes a face that makes me instantly realize, it was probably from me.

Mommy: "Did you hear that from mommy?"

Peanut: "Yes"

Mommy: "oops. Well, you shouldn't say it and neither should mommy, I'm sorry. But please don't say it anymore"

Peanut: "Ok"

About a couple of weeks later, as we're walking out the door...

Peanut: "Shit, oops, I said a bad word"

Mommy: What did you say?"

Peanut: "Shit"

Mommy: to daddy "don't laugh"

helping mommy drive

in the winter, in construction, on the way to day care, in a rush as usual...

Mommy: yelling to another car (I promise I didn't swear) "What are you doing?! You can't just stop! Come on!"

Peanut: "Who are you talking to mommy?"

Mommy: "The other car, he's doing stuff he's not supposed to and he's frustrating me"

Peanut: "Mommy, you drive and I'll talk to the other cars. Get out of the way other cars, mommy needs to drive and you can't do that so get out of the way"

Mommy: "Aw, thanks Peanut, you're the best! I love you"

Peanut: "Oh thank you mommy!"

talk about the things

sitting down to dinner Peanut decides we should say grace...

Peanut: "Daddy, you need to talk about the things to God."

Daddy: "Oh, you're right, what should we thank Him for?"

Peanut: "We should thank Him for friends, toys, good sleeps, all those things"

grocery store buds

In the grocery store we see a little girl who she's met at the park before...

Peanut: "Mommy, it's my best friend from the park!"

Mommy: "Oh I see, say hello"

Peanut: "Hi."

The other little girl is shy and only smiles.

Peanut: "Are you shopping with your mommy? I'm shopping with my mommy too"

Mommy: "Ok, we're going to the next aisle, say bye"

Peanut: "Bye"

A couple of aisles over we meet them again.

Peanut: "Hi! Mommy, she's back"

the girl and her mom are going to the next aisle.

Peanut: "Bye. Oh, I LOVE YOU!"

complimentary my dear

at the cash at Winners...

Peanut: talking to the cashier "I'm getting a new hat and bathing suit. It's pink."

Cashier: "It's really cute, I like it"

Peanut: "I really like your hair, and I like your voice."

dot com

Peanut: while playing her computer learning game it tells her to ask her parents to check their account online, to access new levels and learning challenges (which means you need to sign up to become a member and pay a monthly fee) "Daddy, can you get my parents to go online to www dot jump start world dot com?"

beard

Peanut: "Mommy, only daddy can drink beard (beer) cause he has a beard"

knock knock

Peanut: "Knock knock"

Mommy: "Who's there?"

Peanut: "Orange"

Mommy: "Orange who?"

Peanut: "Orange Mommy! ha ha ha. Don't cry it's only a joke!"

what a ham!

Peanut: telling one of her jokes "You know why the chicken flew away for the winter? Because he was a ham!" laughs histerically

ridiculous music

Peanut: "Mommy, daddy is listening to his ridiculous music again" daddy was listening to some Elton John

"snorty"

Peanut: to a random stranger "you know what my dog's name is? Koda, but I call him snorty"

I made it myself!

Peanut: "Look what I'm eating" sticks out her tongue

Mommy: "What is it?"

Peanut: "It's my boogers"

Mommy: "That's gross, don't do that"

Peanut: "But I made them myself!"

potty training - ish

Peanut: while changing her own pull up "This is my bum. It's not a long bum, but it has a moustache"

so much to do

Daddy: "Maybe we should build a big house in the country so that Koda will have a lot of room to run around. Will you help me build a house?"

Peanut: "Daddy, first I have to help mommy bake a cake then I will help you build the house ok?"

Stylish

Peanut: holding head up and literally looking down her nose with her eyes squinted "Mommy, this is my STYLISH face"

thank heaven for little girls

Peanut: "Where's heaven?"

Day care provider: "Heaven is up in the sky with God and all the angels"

Peanut: "Oh I want to go there. I'll need a yellow dress and some wings"

long story short

Peanut: "Mommy, when I had the hat on my head I bonked my head into the door for the basement"

Mommy: "When did that happen?"

Peanut: "I can't tell you"

Mommy: "Why not? You can tell me anything sweety"

Peanut: "I can't tell you cause it's a long story"

wormies forever

Daddy: "You finish your food and then we'll have a wormy together" referring to a gummy worm candy

Peanut: "for ever? You will have wormies with me forever?"

Daddy's little girl

Peanut: "Daddy, can you keep an eye on me?"

Daddy: "I always do."

Peanut: "for ever and ever?"

table etiquette

Peanut: "When you eat your food you have to lick your mustache and then you eat some more food."

telling it like it is

As another child's parents is passing us in the morning on her way out, she says good bye and have a great day to us.

Peanut: "She has a moustache"

Mommy: checks that went unheard and whispers "Don't say that, that's very rude."

Peanut: in a louder voice than the first statement "Well then, what's on her face?"

God and Jesus are pretty cool

Peanut: "Mommy, do you know who made the world great?"

Mommy: "Who did?"

Peanut: "God did. God and Jesus did. They made so many great things in the world like toys and friends and houses and animals. God is great. God and Jesus are cool."

I'll take care of it Daddy

At breakfast Koda, the puppy, is trying to steal some food, which Daddy is correcting by telling him no.

Peanut: "He's just being a frikken dog daddy, I could slam his face for you."

Adventures with the dog

After coming home to a disaster in the house and no puppy in sight, hearing small whimpers from upstairs, where he's not allowed, finding him locked in the bathroom and trying to get him downstairs quickly before he pees and realizing I was completely unsuccessful after stepping in his pee on the carpet, I had a 'forgot I was a mommy and she's within ear shot' moment, and I said "Awww, he FRIKKEN peed!"

Mommy: "Please close thge door to your room so he doesn't go in there and come downstairs."

Peanut: "But mommy I can't!"

Mommy: "Why not?"

Peanut: "Because he frikken peed there!"

Eh-so-fo-gus and new-trents

Daddy: "Sit down to eat your dinner."

Peanut: "But daddy, I just drank too much juice and now I'm full. Do you know where your food goes? You put it in your mouth and it goes down your esophagus and into your belly and it stops there. Your body takes the nutrients and then it goes down to your toes."

colds and hugs

Peanut: "Mommy, you have to kiss my cold."

Mommy: "But then I'll catch it."

Peanut: "Yeah, take it from me."

so mommy kisses her

Peanut: "Now, hug it too."

big girl room and big demands

Daddy: "How do you like your new room?"

Peanut: looks around and admires the paint on the wall, the trim, the crown moulding, then notices the door stop behind the door which has recieved some splatters of white paint "It's beautiful! Daddy there's paint on this, you need to clean it so it sparkles or buy a new one."

theory and common sense

"mommy is having a girl because girls have babies and boys have beards"

the premise

Kids have a knack for saying just the right thing at the right time, with blatant honesty and not a care in the world as to the results of their remarks. At times, it can be downright embarrasing, but for the most part it's simply hilarious and humbles us as adults who constantly have to watch what we say and think before we speak.

I became a mother 3 and a half years ago. For the first year as a parent you are unable to communicate with your child, aside from your own depiction of the meaning of their various cries and grunts. As a parent, you long for the day when your child looks at you and speaks to you, tells you what's wrong, what they need, how they feel, and what their thinking. Then, finally the day comes and then almost instantly, without warning, you are bombarded with questions about everything and anything. Why is the sky blue is only the beginning. Quickly you find that the sweet innocent baby you longed to communicate with is quite the chatterbox. You start to have to watch what you say in front of them, because they are like sponges and pick up the words you say AND understand the context to use them. They become little adults without the learned skill of etiquette in conversation, without understanding that some words can hurt, come out wrong and some things are just not mentioned or discussed. To them, they are simply curious, stating a fact or telling you how they see it. Completely honest, without any regard, innocently hilarious.

This is the world as seen through the eyes of my 3 and a half year old daughter.